The truth I prayed for yesterday

Lie down. Curl up. Let yourself be loved. Stay there. Do not run away. Do not even move.

Let yourself be carried by love, wrapped in love.

Believe that the love that saves your life eternally also saves your life today.

Believe that a large, theological, world-changing act decided upon before the beginning of time also was intimately about and for you.

Believe that life before earthly death is not only survivable, but full of infinite beauty: in nature, in friends, in romantic love, in stories you will tell. All will not come tomorrow. Today you rest.

Believe that darkness decides nothing about your worth to God or your wantedness to God. You are worthy and wanted. The baggage too.

Believe that not every day feels like this one. You know for a fact that this too shall pass.

Believe, believe in the love freely given at the costliest price. Believe it is for you. Reach out. Don’t just acknowledge it and move on to goals and action. Reach out and allow yourself to accept this love.

Know it is meant for you, and especially you. Not just The Church or Christians or God’s Children. Just you, just in this moment.

Until you relearn how to let yourself belong and be in this love, the confusion, frustration, anger, jealousy and pride will reign supreme. They must be dethroned by something more powerful.

You must allow the ugliness of self that may follow – looking less impressive and interesting, feeling less socially active and likeable, performing differently at work. You are free from quips, from hiding behind hyperbole, from fear of bosses, from needing a plan, from needing a dream that makes the plan work.

The only action you are allowed to take is lying down and allowing God’s presence to whisper love into your ear as you sleep, beloved, in his arms. All the rest will follow.

And it won’t happen tomorrow. It might not happen by the end of October or December or next spiritual cycle’s dreaded ending and beginning. All the rest will come when it needs to, when it’s right.

You are beloved. Let yourself be loved.

 

 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. This is great Jo! So encouraging.

    Like

    1. jorutter says:

      Thanks for reading, dear Emily! Hope all is well in Germany/The UWS/wherever you are!

      Like

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