Greetings Earthlings. I bring you great things from the Internet.
Have you met Dirtbag Mrs. Whatsit? She’s not the charmingly opaque star creature you took her for in A Wrinkle In Time. She’s actually pretty awful:
MRS WHATSIT: hello
is anybody home
MRS. MURRY: excuse me?
MRS WHATSIT: i’m coming in for sandwiches and to take some of your sheets
also your children, i will be taking them
MRS. MURRY: you’re what?
MRS WHATSIT: oh by the way your husband is in space
and your science is terrible
you have barely any science and your husband is trapped in space
i’ll just take these two children and those sheets over there
The Toast’s Mallory Ortberg is one of my all-time favorite Tweeters. If the above is your type of humor, maybe read her heated critique of 12th-century drunken succession shipwrecks.
Hey, wanna freak out? Read these excerpts from a survey about wearable technology. Guys, I for real feel super gross about the future. And still we have had NO DISCUSSION OF HOVERBOARDS which are the only wearable tech I freaking ASKED FOR. It is my 2014 birthright to float around on a skateboard with no wheels. WHY HAS THIS NOT HAPPENED YET. Rant is over.
Five things to say (and NOT to say) to a homeless person. A thousand times yes.
How do you get 20somethings to give charitably? Look at your semantics, says Scott Harrison.
I’m so excited about the Into The Woods movie it’s a LITTLE SCARY.
ISIS is recruiting American teenagers. This makes my heart hurt.
Nick Kristof, fantastic man, speaks about how to write about Africa well. Favorite pull quote from his incredible insights:
I think the humanitarian world needs to think more about storytelling and even marketing. It’s a word we associate with corporations, but at the end of the day it’s an awful a lot more important to market clean water or girls’ education than it is to market Coke.
T-Swift, girl, you know I love you, but if you are living in your own purchased penthouse in Tribeca, you’re not allowed to call yourself a real New Yorker, okay? Wait…did you just go and write a friggin entire album about your squeaky-clean, I’m-from-the-South-and-I’ve-lived-in-the-city-for-2-months naivete? Aww hellllll nah. The Atlantic backs me up, thank goodness.
Inequality, my favorite soapbox, and six different wise people on ways the Fed could address the issue.
See you next week!